The past Revisited
Last night while working on homework for school, an old boyfriend started messaging me on my computer. It was not only shocking to hear from him; it caught me off guard. This old boyfriend who I had a horrible break up with, had begun to message me. Not only was this break up horrible, it spanned two continents. We broke up while I was visiting him in England. An expense trip for me to find out he didn’t want me there in the first place.
When he started talking to me last night, I was actually freaked out. I quickly messaged William, my best friend. Will said, “think of this as a final tease and then never talk to the jerk again.” At the same time I was messaging Will, I emailed Candice, another good friend. She emailed me back quickly “don’t talk to him, he treated you bad, and you have wasted too much time, money and emotion on him already.”
As the minutes ticked by and I had to make the decision to respond, I did. I spent almost an hour talking to him. He was in the Navy, stationed in England when we broke up in 2003. We have not talked since. He moved home last year, and is now living Indiana I had since moved to Florida. We talked about family how much his family did not like me, and mine did not like him. We talked about going to school and when he would finally graduate.
It was good to talk to him, but still eerie. When I asked him why he decided to talk to me, he said, “we have a connection.” As I thought about what he said, I knew he was right. However, I did not want to acknowledge it. I think this connection has kept us together over time, and troubles. We talked about my mom and my grandparents. He had lived with my grandparents for about a year in 1999. The connection he mentioned was our first kiss. It was at my mom’s house, right after she cleaned the carpets. She went to McDonalds for something to eat and we stayed home. While she was gone, we kissed. The one thing we both remember about it was while we were in the middle of that awkward pause after the first kiss, in walks my mom with mayonnaise all down one side of her face. We both laughed and then moved on in the conversation.
We do have a connection, and as much as I do not want to see him there will be a day when I will. I fantasize about what it will be like when I finally do want to see him again. A nice dinner and then a walk in the park after we get coffee. I will talk about my two beautiful kids and wonderful husband, and catch up on what has happened since we last talked.
I think for now all we have is this connection. I will not call him a friend. For now, I will be content that we are speaking again and look forward to the day that we can meet as friends for coffee.
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